Select Page

Unfortunate events can hit anyone at a moment’s notice. Unexpected car repairs, medical emergencies, a degree in theater, thankfully a personal loan can help alleviate some of the financial burdens that come with.

If your credit is a bit rocky, nailing a loan can be tough. Good thing that most people qualify for a loan through the Bank of Mom. As one of the largest and oldest lenders in the US, the Bank of Mom can offer outstanding rates and unnecessary relationship advice.

With conditions and terms that often extend the life of the loans, some thought should be put into this personal loan option before jumping onboard.

Pros

  • 0% APR
  • Flexible payment plans
  • Your childhood bed if you ever need it

Cons

  • Interest is accrued in other ways
  • No co-signers
  • Funding can be fast or slow, depends on how much she has going on that week

 

Qualifications

Despite easy access to the Bank of Mom, preapproval exclusively applies to only children – everyone else must qualify first. Thankfully applying is easy. Unlike other banks, considerations like your credit score or history aren’t taken into account. Instead, the Bank of Mom looks at:

  • Who your friends are
  • Your middle school GPA
  • How you’re doing compared to Jacky’s kids

Keep in mind, one of the underlying conditions is you have to have been denied from the Bank of Dad first. Luckily this isn’t hard.

Applications cannot be completed online. They can only be made over the phone from at least 2 states away.

APR

One of the most attractive aspects is the 0% APR offered. However, that doesn’t mean that these loans are interest-free by any means. Interest accrues in other ways. For example, during the duration of the loan the borrower is expected to stop by the Bank of Mom during these select holidays:

  • Thanksgiving
  • Christmas
  • New Years
  • MLK Day
  • Veterans Day
  • Memorial Day
  • Valentine’s Day
  • Marti Gras
  • St. Patricks Day
  • Mother’s Day
  • Fourth of July
  • Labor Day
  • Your Birthday
  • Her Birthday
  • Her Dog’s Birthday
  • Columbus Day
  • Halloween

Missing a holiday interest payment will result in a penalty (details below) as well as some passive-aggressive comments over the next family dinner.

Loan Terms

Payment plans are simple but also flexible. The Bank of Mom offers two payment terms: Whenever You Get Back on Your Feet and It’s What Family Does.  Both don’t have set terms (uncommon in the personal loan world) however, each sets its own repayment expectations.

For example, under a Whenever You Get Back on Your Feet payment plan, there’s the expectation that you’re going to finish your law school application within the next year or so – or at least say you will.

Under an It’s What Family Does plan, the borrower must birth adorable grandchildren within the next 3 – 8 years. This term greatly depends on how much the Bank of Mom and your current love interest get along.

Fees & Penalties

Personal loans from the Bank of Mom don’t have an origination fee, prepayment penalties, or late fees. But unpaid interest will be penalized. Any unpaid interest gets collected as Guilt.

Guilt won’t immediately damage your credit score or necessarily stop you from going on that Nepal retreat, but it will eventually result in having the Bank of Mom move in with you and your family; requiring you to build an addition to your house that’s always 30 degrees warmer than the rest of it.

Final Thoughts

The Bank of Mom is a wonderful resource for many Americans. If you’re in desperate need of a personal loan, you should consider giving them a call.

However, if you want a good loan that can boost your credit score without these special conditions, then your best bet is actually going through a Credit Union. Most are Bank of Mom approved as well.

Even if you’re not looking for a personal loan, you should call the Bank of Mom anyways – it’s probably been a while.